help i’m a parent//strategies for training children

10. Don’t allow sin to have any place

  • You duplicate who you are! Do as I say not as I do will not work with your children.

  • What “carnal” you allow in moderation gives your children a license to do in excess!

  • Sin subconsciously effects your children. It is your job to guard their hearts

  • Proverbs 17:13//13 Whoever rewards evil for good, Evil will not depart

9. Speak the Word over your children

  • Psalm 112:2//His seed shall be mighty upon the earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.

  • Stand on this scripture for your children.

  • Study the promises found in God’s Word and confess them over you and your family.

 8. Seek God first and so will your children

  • Know that you are the most influential voice in your child’s head. When you make the Word #1  in your life, they will see that and follow along.

  • Do not leave your child’s spiritual growth up to their class at church! Church is vital to growth as individuals and as families, but what they see done at home and a priority at home will be what settles things for them in their hearts and minds.

  • Talk about what they are learning at church and what they are learning in their own personal quiet time!

7. Know what and who they are being exposed to

  • 1 Corinthians 15:33//Evil communication (associations) corrupts good manners.

  • Show me your friends and I will show you your future.

  • You are the deciding factor on who your children need to be influenced by.

  • Don’t compromise what the Word says out of fear that your children will not be accepted.

  • Monitor their friends and activities.

  • Trust is earned, not a right. You are the parent, not the friend. God didn’t call you to be your child’s friend, he called you to train them in the way that they should go.

  • Don’t “make up for” in your child raising the insufficiencies that you had in yours.  Be led by the Spirit of God and the Word of God!

6.  Do not undermine authority you put them under.

  • Adult conversations need to happen with adults. Don’t discuss adult things with your children. If they have an issue at school, find out the whole story.

  • Support their teachers, coaches, pastors and spiritual leaders, etc.

  • Don’t question authority or say “ this is how I would do it” eventually they will be saying the same thing about you and your leadership in their life. 

5. Teach them how to work, tithe, sow, save, and spend.

  • Proverbs 10:4//He becomes poor that deals with a  slack hand: but the hand of the diligent makes rich.

  • Don’t discuss your financial situation with your children!

  • Watch how you talk about money and situations dealing with money! Fear is the worst motivator!

  • Give your children opportunities to earn money so that they can be faithful to honor God and His word and learn what it is like to manage and have self control.

  • Don’t give an allowance, give commission. This isn’t welfare. The kingdom is motivated by faithfulness, not needs!

  • Be an example in your own finances. If you don’t tithe, the enemy cannot be rebuked on your behalf. Don’t determine to tithe when you have more, otherwise you will never have more! Get happy with the little you have!

4. Reward them when they do right.

  • Proverbs 11:31//Behold, the righteous shall be recompensed in the earth much more the wicked and the sinner.

  • When you talk about their talent, they will pursue talent, when you talk about their  “smarts” they will pursue “smarts”, when you talk about status, they will pursue status, when you talk about making a difference everyday that echoes throughout eternity, yep, you guessed it, everyday they will make a difference in their world that echoes throughout eternity!

  • Always reward character more than talent.

 3. Correct them when they commit wrong; don’t procrastinate.

  • Proverbs 13:24//He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him betimes

  • Proverbs 19:18//Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

  • Proverbs 22:15//Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

  • Just because your dad beat you in anger doesn’t mean that you will too.  Determine that you will discipline in obedience to the Word of God. Not in anger.

  • Their mistake is not a personal insult to you, it is a reflection of how they see themselves and their Father God.

  • You are correcting them in the flesh with a spanking, so that the flesh is less likely to go down that same road again, and then you are talking with them about the why behind the what and being led by the Spirit of God and the Word of God on the change that needs to be made.

  • Never spank when you are mad! Don’t yell! Correction is love. If you love them, you will honor the Word by disciplining them.

  • You don’t lose your kids when you correct them. You lose your kids when you are more focused on pacifying their ever changing hormonal feelings instead of directing them into a purposeful life by following the plan of God!

  • Keep your Word! If you said they were grounded, then don’t let up! The moment that you begin to give in to their arguments or eye rolls is the moment they lose all respect for you. They

  • won’t say they have stopped respecting you, but that is what just happened! Be parents of your Word!

2. Teach them to Honor God

  • John 5:23//That all men should honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He that honors not the Son, honors not the Father which sent Him.

  • To Honor God simply means to obey His Word.

  • Be patient as they learn and grow. Don’t base their growth on someone else’s kids or even other children in your home.

  • Kids learn in bits and pieces, not marathon sessions. Be intentional with every moment and allow the Spirit of God to direct you!

 1. See each child as a gift from God

  • Psalm 127:3//Lo, Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

  • Regardless of how they got here, whether intentional or a surprise, they are a gift, that you will stand before God at the end of your life and give an account on how you raised them. Be intentional, know that you are not alone, be thankful in the good and the bad, and be led by the Spirit.

  • Your kids just want to know that you love them! You’ve got this!! Remember, just like they are a gift to you, you are a gift to them!! They are so blessed to have you as their parent!

help i’m a parent//age appropriate chores for children

Becoming a parent can be a very exciting, yet challenging time but very rewarding. It is vitally important that you enjoy every season because they truly do grow up very fast. In order to develop and teach them personal disciplines you can and should begin as soon as they are old enough to understand; probably between 2 and 3 years old. By following these suggested disciplines, you are instilling in them not only to take responsibility but to work together as a family. Remember to train is to show by doing and be patient with them and they will do it correctly. Above all love your children.

Ages 2-3//put toys in toy box, stack books on shelf, place dirty clothes in hamper, throw away trash, fold washcloths, set the table, dust baseboards

Ages 4-5//feed pets, wipe up spills, put away toys, make the bed, water houseplants, dry and put away dishes and sort clean silverware, prepare simple snacks, use hand-held vacuum, clear kitchen table

Ages 6-7//gather trash, fold towels, dust mop floors, match clean socks, weed garden, rake leaves, peel potatoes or carrots, replace toilet paper roll

Ages 8-9//load dishwasher, wash clothes, hang/fold clean clothes, spray off patio, put groceries away, scramble eggs, bake cookies, walk dogs, sweep porches, wipe off table

Ages 10 -11//clean bathrooms, vacuum rugs, clean countertops, prepare simple meal, mow lawn, bring in mail, sweep out garage or porch

Ages 12 and up//mop floors, change overhead lights, wash/vacuum car, shop for groceries with list, cook complete dinner, bake bread or cakes, do simple home repairs, wash windows, iron clothes, watch younger siblings

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:4 (AMP)

 

5 points of spiritual discipline

Rules:

  • Establish house rules and communicate them effectively to your child; stressing “obedience brings blessings” and then simplify rules: no disobedience or dishonor to authority, no lying, hitting, rebellion, etc.

  • ensure they understand the rules; you cannot discipline them for something they did not know was an infraction of the rules.

  • A posted list of the rules is helpful; make a simple plaque or poster.

  • Both parents (if present) must communicate the same rules; inconsistency is a trap for lack of discipline.

  • Establish the correction/consequence (not punishment) for disobeying the rules.

Enforcement:

  • Rules are useless without enforcement; inspect, don’t just expect!

  • Both parents must produce a solid front; both enforce the rules so the child cannot put one parent against the other —that’s called deception! Deception is destructive to their training.

Discipline:

  • Administer the discipline in a calm, business-like manner, never in anger; YOU may need a time-out to gather yourself before administering the discipline.

  • Have the child recite the infraction and corrective discipline that applies to the rule; this will make an impression on their minds for the future.

  • Be sure the discipline is effective, not a waste of time; that means it must inflict pain upon the posterior (bottom) to make an impression upon their mind.

Repentance:

  • Repentance is extremely important in every discipline session.

  • Without repentance the child will be open to guild and condemnation.

  • They need to admit guilt of the wrong committed and ask forgiveness of God, the parents, and those they offended.

  • This admission is a confession of sin; without it, there can be no restoration.

They disobeyed in detail, they need to apologize in detail.
- Kandis Taylor

Restoration:

  • Restoration brings healing in their heart, soul, and relationships.

  • It allows them to be set free from the guilt and condemnation that comes with committing an act of disobedience—their spirit knows when they have erred in sin.

  • Very important — they need to hear you (and any offended) say, “I forgive you and I love you.”

Correction with affection brings change not rejection!